Kids Help Phone
by anti-ica
Summary: Echizen has stumbled upon some of his dad’s perverted magazines and is now permanently scarred. He calls kids help phone for…help and in the process discovers a horrible truth. FujiRyo. UTTER CRACK. Straying from Original Plot...kinda...like there was one
1. The Discovery

**Rated: T**

**Summary**: **Echizen has stumbled upon some of his dad's perverted magazines and is now permanently scarred. He calls kids help phone for…help and in the process discovers a horrible truth. CRACK/yaoi…**

**Category: humour/ general**

**Characters: Echizen and Fuji (maybe yaoi, if you squint you might be able to see it…or maybe squint a lot…you know, to get the picture)**

**Kids Help Phone: (In Canada) 1-800-668-6868**

**Disclaimer: I do not own POT; Anti does, however, own Fuji (DIBS ON FUJI! . ) (jks jks, I don't want to get attacked by barbaric fangirls )**

_**Ica: **again with the Fuji dibs?? Are we going to go through this thing every time?? Honestly. If you do not know Japanese very well, we will include a glossary for you at the end in the authors note. Thank you Ica! No problem._

_**Anti: **XP, yes we're gonna go through this everytime…I love Fuji_

"**characters conversations"**

_**(our random and totally pointless conversations)**_

_**Characters thinking to themselves**_

"_**Character flashback"**_

* * *

One day, at tennis practise, a certain tensai with brown hair and blue eyes was smiling as he practised. Of course he always smiles….but this smile was different. Inui commented on the smile.

"Hmm, Fuji is sure in a good mood today…"

"Heh? How can you tell?" Horio asked his senpai.

"He's smiling differently."

"Really?" The ichinens looked at the tensai closely. "You're right!"

"So? Who's the lucky girl?" Inui assumed. _(Ica: wow. He really likes to say weird things)_

"Why, whatever are you talking about?" Fuji asked seriously confused. "I only got a job."

"A…job?" Kikumaru laughed suddenly joining in on the conversation.

"Hai," Fuji smiled, "It's going to be fun!"

"Less talking and more practise!" The old coach called to them

"HAI!" They started practising and later on, completely forgot about the fact that Fuji was acting weird.

**Sunday, _Chez_ Echizen**

_Well I've got the house to myself. I might as well catch up on my sleep._ Echizen thought.

As he was heading upstairs, he tripped over something. And what it is you may ask. Well at first even Echizen wasn't sure. Taking a closer look he realized that it was his dad's –beep- magazines. You see we put the beep in because we don't want you, our readers to get scarred like Echizen did.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! MY EYES!!!" he screamed. Hoping it was an illusion, he looked again. Much to his dismay, it was not. _Oh my god. Is this what oyaji does with his spare time? I knew he was a pervert, but not this much of a pervert._ –shudders in horror- _Well I might as well forget about it and go to sleep. _Little did he know that his fathers –beep- magazines would haunt him in his sleep.

_**In Echizen's Dreams**_

_Dear Kami-sama where am I? Why are there people around me? Who are they? What do they want? Good lord save me. I've been a good kid. Please let me die in peace. "Ryoma-sama," what was that? "Ryoma-sama" _

Suddenly out of nowhere appeared 5 women that looked like they came straight out of his fathers

–beep- mags. _What is going on? Why are people from my perverted oyaji's book coming to haunt me? Does this mean that I am a pervert too? That's not possible. Is it?_

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" _What just happened? What's happening to me? _Flailing suddenly, he realized that he was on the floor. _Okay. Rewind. What just happened?_

**Wo0t! Flashback…**

"_Oyaji, what do you want?"_

"_Here."_

"_What is it?"_

"_It's the phone number for Kids Help Phone"_

"_Why would I need something like this? I don't have issues."_

"_You should give them a call. I don't know how you turned out to be my son, because you're not interested in girls. So you're probably gay."_

"… _whatever"_

**Wo0t! End Flashback…**

"Er…" Echizen picked up the note Nanjiroh gave him…_Kids Help Phone._ He bent to pick up the phone, his arms shaking slightly from indecision. Echizen finally dialled his phone.

"Hello, welcome to kids help phone…"

_This voice sounds familiar…_

"Uh…I have….a problem……my dad has…issues"

"Echizen…?"

"Fuji-senpai?"

"Hello Echizen, how may I help you?"

"Er….." Echizen whispered into the phone, "My dad is a pervert…"

"What, I couldn't get that, speak up…" Fuji's voice came from the other side.

"MY DAD IS A PERVERT!" Echizen screamed into the phone.

"Oh…well…okay…" Fuji held the receiver an arms length away. "Is that the problem?" Echizen heard Fuji chuckle.

"Yes, I….saw…the magazine."

"Magazine?" Fuji's voice was confused.

"The perverted….thing…"

"Well, that's a …problem….isn't it….?" _What is he talking about?_

"So, I'm waiting…?" Echizen said impatiently into the phone…having somewhat recovered from the shock of Fuji's new job and the fact that his dad owns _those –_beep- magazines.

"Ah…well, I really don't know what the problem is…" Echizen sweatdropped as he heard Fuji's confused voice.

"I told you…"

"What?"

"The magazines…"

"What magazines?"

"The per- per- per- perverted magazines."

"Did you look at them?"

"Not on purpose…"

"What do you mean by that, Echizen?" Fuji's voice was filled with mirth.

"Hey, they were just lying around on the floor," Echizen said defensively.

"So you looked at them...ha, ha"

"Did not!" Echizen replied childishly.

"But you just said…"

"Not on purpose!"

"Right…" Fuji said and thought for a moment, "Well then, what do you think about my new job?"

"Mada mada dane," Echizen sighed, "you're not the most suitable for the job, Fuji-senpai."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Fuji chuckled, "I can't imagine Momo or Kaidoh trying to do this job…"

"True…" Echizen said, "but you're not helping me…"

"I can't help you if I don't know the problem."

"I told you the problem…" Echizen said.

"What's so bad about your dad's perverted magazines?" Fuji asked, totally oblivious to Echizen's pain and frustration.

"They scarred me for life!" Echizen said into the phone.

"Oh…okay…" _Kids these days…_ Fuji was lost even though he was like only TWO years older.

"Well, you're not helping…"

"Really? I thought that I was"

_How can you be helping when you're totally clueless about my problem?_

"Can you at least try to give me some advice…?" Echizen said into the phone, emphasizing on the word _some._

"Well, you just have a…"- cough- "strange father…"

"What do you mean by that?" Echizen asked.

"Nothing in particular…" Echizen heard another chuckle from the other side of the phone.

"By the way, senpai, how did you get this job?"

"Eh? Oh, um, the girl at the interview…seemed to like what I had to say." Fuji sounded surprised by the question…Echizen noted how carefully the answer was worded.

"So senpai likes the girl?" Echizen asked mischievously

"Nani? Iie, what gave you that idea?" Fuji sounded really surprised this time. "Hey, aren't we on your problem?"

"Well, you're not helping so I'm just gonna go ask Momo-senpai." Echizen said, "so is the girl cute?"

"You sound like Eiji," Fuji teased, "I suppose she's cute, but not as cute as you…"

"Fuji-senpai…" Echizen sounded scared, "Just what are you talking about? You're the one that sounds like Kikumaru-senpai."

Echizen wondered what type of sadistic idea the tensai Fuji has in store for him _**this** _time.

"Say Echizen, what are you doing this weekend?"

"Uhhh, why do you want to know?? Are you trying to get me to do something stupid, cause I'm not gonna do it. Even if you do force me."

"Not gonna listen he? Now what are you going to do if I said that I'll make you drink some of Inui's juice if you don't agree. I'm sure that Inui would love to give you some of his new drink.

"Fuji-senpai, that's blackmail"

"Actually it's extortion. There's a difference. Blackmail is when, say that I have some embarrassing pictures of you. Which in fact, I do. Extortion is when I threaten you with Inui juice, which I just did. I can blackmail you if you don't like extortion.

"N-n-n-no thanks, Fuji-senpai"

"So meet me… at the burger shop next Sunday okay?" Fuji asked.

"Why?"

"So we can discuss your problem! DON'T BRING ANYONE ELSE."

"Hai Fuji-sama," Echizen was seriously scared.

"Ha, wait till Momo hears you called me Fuji-sama," Fuji chuckled.

"Hey! That's distortion!" Echizen said.

"It's not distortion, its extortion…"

"Are you sure you're not breaking every rule in the book?"

"What rules?"

"Kid's help phone rules…"

"…they never gave me any rules…"

"Do you have a rule book?"

"Uh…nope,"

"Manual!?"

"Um….wait…." Echizen heard the sounds of Fuji rummaging through some stuff and mumbling to himself things like… "Yuuta's baby pictures… kawaii. Echizen's blackmail pictures…. Momo's face when he's eating wasabi sushi….Tezuka walking into a wall…wait. Tezuka walked into a wall?! Inui drinking his own Inui juice…Inui puking…. He went too far this time. Eiji tripping over the net, Oishi punching someone in the face…wow. Kaidoh saving a kitten… he saves kittens?!" And said back into the phone "Nope."

"What do they do over there?!?!" _whoa…he's got a lot of blackmail pictures._

"Um, well, we help people…to…deal with problems…besides the girl that interviewed me said I was perfect for the job."

"Er….that's a lie."

"Really…? Now how would you know?"

"…Fuji-senpai, you didn't really help me"

"Now we'll discuss your problem on our little date on Sunday,"

"DATE?!?!?" Oh good lord was Echizen scared "Fuji-senpai? Fuji-senpai?... wth??"

On the other end Fuji had "accidentally" hung up. Too bad. But you have to feel kinda sorry for the kid ne?

* * *

_Authors note: _

_Okay if you've read our other fic, its Strange Addiction btw if you wanna read it, it was placed under a different user than this one (Hopeless92) . The story is that we created a new account to post stuff that was written by the both of us. This is why you see it as a different user._

_Ica: yeah…there was some yaoi that you really didn't need to squint for…but if your stupid you might have to (jks, jks). _

_Anti: ...at least its not Lemon_

_Ica: true…_

* * *

Glosary(Ica: yes that is sooo nerdy)

Senpai-senior or someone higher up

Chez-(yes its French, it was Anti's fault)house of…

Oyaji-old man or father

Extortion and Blackmail are explained compliments of Wikipedia.

Sama-lord

Hai- yes

Iie- no

Yaoi-gayness

* * *

_Ica: did you really have to add those last three? I mean that's like basic!!_

_Anti: hey there might be ppl who actually have a life and didn't search up what hai and iie and yaoi means…u noe…a LIFE?_

_Ica: like what we don't have?_

_Anti: true_

_Ica: we are losers_

_Anti: totally. Anyways, hope you like our completely pointless story… . _

_If I have missed any please do not hesitate to ask_

_Ica: you mean if WE have missed any._

_Anti: w/e_

_Ica: anyways. Thanks for reading our fic, hoped you enjoyed it and rate it please?-gives the puppy eyed look- and flames will be ignored._


	2. The Date

**Rated: T**

**Summary**: **Echizen has stumbled upon some of his dad's perverted magazines and is now permanently scarred. He calls kids help phone for…help and in the process discovers a horrible truth. CRACK/yaoi…**

**Category: humour/ general**

**Characters: Echizen and Fuji (maybe yaoi, if you squint you might be able to see it…or maybe squint a lot…you know, to get the picture)**

**Kids Help Phone: (In Canada ) 1-800-668-6868**

**Disclaimer: I do not own POT; Anti does, however, own Fuji (DIBS ON FUJI! . ) (jks jks, I don't want to get attacked by barbaric fangirls )**

**_(our random and totally pointless conversations)_**

_**Characters thinking to themselves**_

_**"Character flashback"**_

* * *

_**Sunday, the day of Echizen and Fuji 's "date"**_

"Why did I agree to this??" Echizen mused to himself.

"Echizen!! Glad to see you came by yourself!" Damn. He's already here.

_Of course I would come alone!! With the fact that you were going to tell Momo-senpai that I called you "sama" by mistake, of course I would come alone. Not that anyone would be interested in what I did outside of school._ Echizen ranted to himself, for ranting out loud would hurt his pride.

" Now why don't we go inside and talk about your 'problem'" Fuij suggested.

In a heartbeat, he managed to drag Echizen inside and have him seated at a table and have all their food ordered.

"Fuji-senpai what are we doing here again??"

"To talk about your problem!!" Fuji looked excited._ Too excited _thought Echizen.

"Saa, Echizen, why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

"…I thought that I made it clear. I accidentally looked at some of my dad's

–beep- mags.

"I don't see what's the problem with that."

"NANI? My dad's magazines…he just put them around!" As Echizen ranted on, Fuji just sat there smiling, at god knows what.

"You're cute when you're mad too," Fuji said after Echizen had finished his little raving session.

"NANI? That does not help in the least! I didn't think that you would be of any help. I'm leaving."

As he got up to leave Fuji had just one more comment to make.

"I do hope you remembered the other part of the deal."

You may have thought that Fuji just hung up and left Echizen stranded there, but nope. He called back to shove another burden onto his shoulders.

**Wo0t! Flashback…**

_"Moshi, moshi?"_

_"Ah, Echizen, I have just one more thing to say to you."_

_"And that is…"_

_"Remember our date on Sunday?"_

_"Yes you already told me to not bring anyone else"_

_"No, not that. Hmm, you're so cute…I just thought that…hmm…"_

_"Nani, Fuji-senpai?"_

_"If you don't come, I can…hmm, how does one put it…make you my personal…what's the word…? Slave…for a week, how bout it?"_

_"Demo, Fuji-senpai!"_

_"beep, beep, beep" Fuji had hung up again_

_Damn you Fuji-senpai, damn you._

**Wo0t! End Flashback…**

Echizen paled as he remembers Fuji's words. He imagines all the horrible things that Fuji would put him through.

"Alright, I'll stay."

"That's what I thought. Now tell me again, how did this come about?"

"…"

"Echizen, I'm waiting."

"…"

"Come on, you know you want to tell, or do I feed you Inui's Super Hyper Remix Juice?"

"…Where did you get that?"

"Why I asked Inui to make it specially for this day of course!"

"…"

"Ah! You talked! Now, tell me, what was your problem"

"…"

"Echizen, do you really want to drink Inui's juice?"

"….iie…"

"That's what I thought," Fuji's smile was anything but reassuring, "well then…"

"Okay basically I accidentally saw my fathers –beep- mags,"

"But I still don't see how that is going to scar you for life," Fuji said, in thought.

"Fuji-senpai, you're impossible…" Echizen shook his head, resigned.

They proceeded to eat their food, Fuji in high sprits and Echizen trying to resist the temptation to run away from his senpai as fast as he possibly could run.

"Hey, Echizen!" Fuji said after they paid the bill, (or more like, Echizen paid it because a certain tensai _accidentally_ left his wallet at home. Bold and triple underline the accidentally) "I know how to take your mind of your troubles, let's go shopping."

"Shopping?" Echizen sounded horrified at the very thought

"Hai! That's what my sister always does to get rid of her trouble…" Fuji smiled brightly and dragged Echizen out.

"Demo, Fuji-senpai! What if the others see us?" Echizen asked, suddenly aware that they were heading towards where Momoshiro, Kikumaru, Oishi and all the rest of them were usually hanging out.

"What others, Echizen?" Fuji looked at Echizen with surprise.

"The other regulars?" Echizen said, trying to remain on his feet while being dragged by his senpai, who, despite his thin arms, was actually quite strong.

"Why would that be a problem?" Fuji asked.

"Ugh, never mind," Echizen saw that there was no way to convince Fuji.

**Meanwhile**

"Ah, I'm so bored…nya," Kikumaru complained.

"I wish something interesting would come by…" Momo said.

"Hey, isn't that …Echizen?"

"Hoi, hoi?" Kikumaru bounced up to see.

"It is! What's Echizen doing with Fuji-senpai?" Momo asked.

"It looks like he doesn't have much of a choice…" Kikumaru commented.

"This will be excellent data…" Inui had his notebook out.

"Well, let's go follow them!" Kikumaru jumped up enthusiastically.

"Hai!" They all agreed.

**Back to our new lovebirds…**

"Saa, Echizen where do you want to go?"

"..."

"Echizen, I still have that pitcher of Inui juice..."

"Where would I go in a mall? I hate malls!" Echizen seemed to be expressing a lot more emotions these days, must be puberty.

Fuji had an evil glint in his eye (well, not in his eye, since they were closed…but you get the gist) and spotted a store. "How about there?"

"Whatever," Echizen didn't even look at the store in question, something he would regret not much later.

"Good, La Senza it is then!" Fuji's smile was even wider.

"La Senza…?"

* * *

Glossary

Demo- but

Iie- no

Moshi Moshi- saying hello on the phone…

Nani- what

Hai- Yes

Saa- now…_  
_

* * *

_A/N:_

_**Anti:** This one is actually quite short and possibly less humorous than the last one. Fuji's being EVIL!!! Ica prolly doesn't even know what La Senza is…I actually know a lingerie store! . Ica's idea tho. Thanks for reading!!! Hey before we added the glossary and our rantings, it was exactly 1001 words, the one was soo random, aw we ruined it._

_**Ica:** -totally innocent- what's lingere? kidding!! sadly I was scarred by certain friends anti, Ral... yes and like last time please rate and flamers will be ignored or in my case because I am quick to anger...I will totally lash out and bitch at you. if you are reading this thank you for putting up with me. _

_**Anti:** It's not like you didn't scar me with your mutterings shudders Shinji… Yes, Flamers will be mocked and ridiculed…or simply ignored because we're too lazy to bother. (right Kabaji? Kabaji says: Usu…sorry I'm watching Prince of Tennis right now…)_

_**Ica: **Can anyone say OBSESSED with Atobe?_

_**Anti: **Heyy, I'm only obsessed with Fuji, Jirou, Kirihara, Ryo Kisazaru, maybe a little bit of Atobe…but hey, Atobe's got it all…but Fuji's still number one in my heart._

_**Ica: **That's still a lot more than me…_

_-Anti and Ica _


	3. The Dress

**Rated: T**

**Summary**: **Echizen has stumbled upon some of his dad's perverted magazines and is now permanently scarred. He calls kids help phone for…help and in the process discovers a horrible truth. CRACK/yaoi…**

**Category: humour/ general**

**Characters: Echizen and Fuji (maybe yaoi, if you squint you might be able to see it…or maybe squint a lot…you know, to get the picture)**

**Kids Help Phone: (In Canada ) 1-800-668-6868**

**Disclaimer: I do not own POT; Anti does, however, own Fuji (DIBS ON FUJI! . ) (jks jks, I don't want to get attacked by barbaric fangirls )**

**_(our random and totally pointless conversations)_**

_**Characters thinking to themselves**_

_**"Character flashback"**_

* * *

_**Meanwhile in front of La Senza…**_

"Fuji-senpai! I don't wanna go in!!" Echizen whined.

"Saa, saa, Echizen. Let's go! Or do you want everyone to see your blackm-I mean embarrassing pictures?"

"Hai Fuji-senpai." Said Echizen in a resigned voice.

"There, that's better." Fuji smiled innocently at Echizen, almost as if he didn't just threaten Echizen with blackmail.  
"Fuji-senpai?"

"Yes, Echizen?"

"I hate you so much right now."

"Aw, that's too bad because I happen to like you… a lot." Fuji's blue eyes opened for a moment, emphasizing on the _a lot_ and his blue eyes pierced into Echizen. Echizen couldn't help but shudder nervously.

_**To the "Spies" aka. Stalkers**_

"Hoi, hoi, they're going into La Senza!" Kikumaru piped up.

"Nani?" Momo and Oishi looked.

"Data…data…" Inui mumbled to himself.

"What are they doing there?" Momo muttered to himself.

"WHAT'S OCHIBI THINKING?" Kikumaru wailed.

"Or more like what's Fuji-senpai doing to Echizen…?" Momo said.

"OCHIBI!!!" Kikumaru kept on wailing.

"I would suggest silence now" Inui said pushing up his glasses.

"Are they really going in?"

"I feel sorry for Echizen…" Momo said, shaking his head. "He was the one of the most promising tennis players I had ever met…and although he sucks at doubles… I was happy to have the memory of him as my doubles partner… Kami-sama, let Echizen go into heaven peacefully.

"Calm down" Oishi said sweatdropping.

"Ochibi!!!" Kikumaru was still wailing. "Nya! Oishi, Ochibi's gonna die!!"

After Oishi had gotten Kikumaru calmed down, he let the words sink in, and screamed. Ouch.

"Echizen is going to die!!! Shopping with Fuji is the worst possible thing ever!!"

-Everyone shuddering at the thought of shopping with Fuji- Not that they have ever gone because they are just so paranoid about what he could do to them. Duh.

_**Back with the new "couple"**_

"Fuji-senpai, I love you but…is this really necessary?" Echizen resorted to flattery.

"Saa, Echizen, if you love me you would let me help you," Fuji smiled.

"Demo, Fuji-senpai… I still don't see how shopping in tha- tha- that store will deal with my problem…"

"See, that's the exact attitude that makes me want to take you shopping."

"Oh, damn it…" Echizen muttered to himself.

"Sorry, what was that?" Fuji's look was testing.

"No- nothing,"

"Saa…let's go inside"

"You're only gonna make me try things on that I'd rather not,"

"Now who told you that?"

"So are you saying that you are?"

"Maybe, I wouldn't know"

"You're impossible"

"Now, now Echizen, let's go inside already"

Unsuspecting to the "stalkers", they headed into the store and immediately, Fuji had about 10 things for Echizen to try.

**_The "Stalkers"_**

"Whoa, is Ochibi really gonna agree to try that?" Kikumaru asked, trying not to laugh.

"Apparently so…" Inui was busy scribbling.

"Poor Echizen…" Momo said, actually feeling sympathy for the poor guy.

"Let's get a closer look!" Kikumaru said, sneaking into the store.

"What's Fuji holding?" Momo asked, in complete horror.

"I don't know."

"It looks like Echizen is shaking his head." They edged even closer.

_**The couple**_

"Aww, Echizen, you'll look so cute in it!"

"No…way…" Echizen looked at the item Fuji was holding.

"But Echizen…."

"There is absolutely no way you're going to force it on me." _Is Fuji-senpai crazy? _Echizen thought.

"Really?" Fuji fumbled his pockets. "What about this?" He took out a picture of Echizen in a frilly, cute Lolita dress that looked like it came straight out the pages of Tokyo Mew Mew…or something like that.

"Where did you get that?" Echizen recoiled.

"I have my sources…now what do you say?"

"Hai…" _Fuji-senpai is pure evil_.

"That's a good kouhai." Fuji smiled and patted Echizen on the head affectionately while pushing him towards the dressing rooms, completely ignoring the wary stares of the employees and the customers.

"Oh, I almost forgot, how silly of me!" Fuji whipped out his camera and smiled brightly at the horrified Echizen. "This will be great for … future uses."

Echizen suddenly had the feeling that this angelic senpai of his was the devil himself.

_**The random and thoroughly nosy stalkers**_

"…I wonder what that picture shows…" Momo turned to Kikumaru. "Can you see it, Eiji-senpai?"

"NO!" Kikumaru wailed, "I want to see that picture!"

"Quiet, I want to listen to their conversation." Inui said, scribbling furiously.

"I have my sources…" Fuji was saying.

_Oh god, what sources? Does he have picture of me too? _Kikumaru thought

_I wonder what that wonderful smell is, is it ramen…? _Momo was thinking. _Wait... Echizen is dying…oh dear Kami-sama…_

_Echizen…be strong…_ Oishi was thinking.

_20 percent that Fuji is bluffing, 80 says that he has pictures of all of us. _Inui was busy scribbling.

"HOI? IS HE HOLDING A CAMERA?" Kikumaru almost jumped up.

"QUIET EIJI!" Oishi put a hand over Kikumaru's mouth.

"It is a camera…"

"Poor Echizen…"

"WHAAA OCHIBI!!!" Kikumaru said through Oishi's hand.

_**The lovebirds**_

_Hmm, I hear something…something familiar._ Fuji looked around and almost giggled at the bit of red hair he saw sticking from behind a counter. _How cutely naïve of them to think that they could stalk me_.

"Hello, Eiji," Fuji said loudly.

"HOI?"

"EHHHHH?"

The group tried to make a break for it but they were stopped by Fuji who suddenly appeared in front of them.

_Note to self: Fuji has teleporting abilities. _Inui thought.

"Now, what are you doing here?" Fuji asked.

"We were….uh…just in the neighbourhood…"

"Yes, so if you'll excuse us…"

"We'll just be on our way…ha…ha…ha."

"Stay for a while," Fuji's eyes opened threateningly.

"Uhh…Fuji-senpai?" Came Echizen's voice from the change rooms.

SILENCE

…insert crickets chirping…

SILENCE

SNORT

SNORT

GIGGLE

GIGGLE

"HE'S SOO ADORABLE!!!"

"BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

"OCHIBI!!!!"

SCRIBBLE…

Echizen felt his sense of pride and dignity just leave him. "Fuji….senpai…."

"Yes, Echizen?"

"Nande…?"

"…say hi to your senpais…" Fuji smiled.

* * *

Glossary:

Nande: why? How come?

Ochibi: cute, baby, little kid….something like that._(Ica: we're retards)_

Hoi: the nonsensical thing that Eiji tends to say.

Nya: " """""

Kami-sama: Japanese god….one of them XP

* * *

_Anti: sry for the LONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG wait, we've had a mountainous amount of hw. GRR, stupid teachers…_

_Ica:…I hate Reizgys…(business teacher. You don't need to get it, and yes, we take business). Hes GAYYYYYY_

_Anti: You're failing ICA!!!!_

_Ica: HE HATES AZNS!! ……I hate him. DIEE._

_Anti: once again, I love Fuji, Jirou, Atobe, Akaya and Ryo Kisarazu. Tee hee (Fangirl giggle)_

_Ica: …ur a loser. To put that into the authors note?? Loser. Anyways if you are still reading this, then thank you for reading….lame I know._


	4. The ill omens

**Rated: K+**

**Summary**: **Echizen has stumbled upon some of his dad's perverted magazines and is now permanently scarred. He calls kids help phone for…help and in the process discovers a horrible truth. CRACK/yaoi…**

**Category: humour/ general**

**Characters: Echizen and Fuji (maybe yaoi, if you squint you might be able to see it…or maybe squint a lot…you know, to get the picture)**

**Kids Help Phone: (In Canada) 1-800-668-6868**

**Disclaimer: I do not own POT; Anti does, however, own Fuji (DIBS ON FUJI! . ) (jks jks, I don't want to get attacked by barbaric fangirls)**

"**characters conversations"**

_**(our random and totally pointless conversations)**_

_**Characters thinking to themselves**_

"_**Character flashback"**_

* * *

Anti: we have a general idea to where this is going but we don't now how to get there so if you have any ideas, then like tell us, help is much appreciated.

* * *

"Fuji-senpai…" _he looks like a smiling angel._"Did you invite them?"

"Why, no Echizen, they were just passing by."

"Yeah, just passing by, ne, Eiji-senpai?" Momo said nervously, glancing from Echizen's death glare and Fuji's dispassionate smile.

"Hoi?" Kikumaru looked from Momo to Echizen (He giggled a bit at Ochibi's kawaiiness) to Fuji (he shuddered, wondering what thoughts were going through his head). "Hai, just…passing by."

"Yes," Oishi and Inui interjected quickly.

"Saa, Echizen, pose for the camera"

"Eh? Demo-" Echizen was cut off by a snap of the camera.

"Say Cheese!" Fuji snapped the camera again but not before Kikumaru ran up to Echizen and put his arms around him.

"Perfect," Fuji took another item of clothing. "Now, try this on."

"Demo…Fuji-senpai…that's a bra…"

"I can see that, Ryo-chan." Fuji's smile never faltered.

Snort…giggle, the other regulars were laughing with the exception of Oishi who backed away slowly, pretending to not know these people, it didn't work very well due to the fact that Oishi, Momo, Eiji and Inui were wearing their Seigaku Regulars uniform.

"Go on Echizen, I still have that cute Lolita picture of you."

"WHAT LOLITA PICTURE?" Kikumaru asked enthusiastically.

"Nothing, well nothing yet…ne Echizen?"

"H- hai!" Echizen ran into the change rooms.

"So this is why you wanted the new prototype Inui juice." Inui scribbled.

"Hai, it worked wonders." Fuji's smile was stubbornly stuck on his face.

"Wait…does Echizen know how to put on a bra?" Oishi asked.

"Hmm, that might be a slight problem…" Fuji considered.

"Does he even know what a bra is?"

"I think Echizen is more mature than you give him credit for, Momoshiro." Inui pushed up his glasses.

"Saa, I'm sure it won't be much of a problem." Fuji smiled optimistically.

"ARGH!" A loud scream rang from the change rooms.

"On second thought, I'd better see what's going on…" Fuji walked away from the group towards the change room Echizen was in.

"Hey, it's our chance to make a break for it." Momo said.

"Hoi, but I wanna see Ochibi in a bra!" Kikumaru sighed.

"You'll see plenty of pictures, I'm sure, on Monday." Oishi said.

"I also, am quite curious." Inui looked up from his scribbles.

"But…what if Fuji makes us try something weird…?" Oishi asked.

"I'm sure he has pictures of all of us." Momo interjected.

"We better run then, nya!"

"I disagree…I think we should stay behind."

"What about the consequences?"

"We'll face that, for now, I want data on what size Echizen is." Inui's glasses glinted.

While all that was happening, a certain tensai was helping his kohai into a bra.

"Ow, Fuji-senpai, that hurts!"

"Is it too tight?"

"Yes!"

"I'm sorry, I've never put a bra on a person before," Fuji said with a hint of laughter.

"I'll bet."

"I wonder what's taking them so long?" Momo wondered.

"Hoi?" Kikumaru went to the change rooms.

"Saa, Echizen, I'm sure they want to see you too!" Fuji said, one hand on Echizen's arm, the other snapping pictures mercilessly, all the while trying not to laugh.

"WAAAAAAAHHHHH" Kikumaru screamed "OCHIBI!!!!"

"Ki- Kikumaru-senpai" Echizen turned a deep shade of scarlet.

"KAWAII!!!!" Kikumaru gave Echizen a bear hug.

**_Meanwhile, in Germany_**

"ACHOO!" Tezuka sneezed and gazed up at the sky to see a bunch of crows. _I have a feeling that something is happening to the pillar of support… Fuji…_Tezuka shook his head and bent down to tie his shoelaces to start jogging. _It broke…_ Tezuka looked up and wondered if he should call Fuji, but if he falsely accuses Fuji, there would be revenge waiting for him. Even if he was in Germany, he still didn't get off the habit of carrying aspirin with him 24/7. _Fuji…1_

**_Back in Japan._**

"BUAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAHA" Momo was grasping for air.

"Daijoubu ka?" Oishi asked, "It's not too tight is it?"

"…it's too tight but Fuji-senpai said it looked better this way." Echizen said, his head down, wishing that he had his Fila cap to cover his face.

Fuji was smiling, Kikumaru was hugging Echizen, Oishi was scolding Fuji half-heartedly for taking advantage of his kouhai, Momo was busy laughing at Echizen and Inui was scribbling all the while muttering "Ii Data"

This continued for about half an hour until Fuji finally decided to have more fun. "Saa, Echizen, looks like you forgot about your little 'problem', my way worked." Fuji smiled.

"…I did not forget, you just created more problems for me." Echizen said scathingly.

"Oh my, why are you looking at me with such cold eyes?" Fuji gasped.

"Can I go home now?" Echizen wondered if anyone fed Karupin yet.

"Iie, let's go get some ice cream."

"Or, we can try my new special Aozu ice cream."

"How about no?" Echizen said. "Fuji-senpai, can I change into regular clothes now?"

"Aw, but you look so cute in the bra, you would've made such a pretty girl." Fuji said in a nostalgic way.

"Fuji-senpai!" Echizen said, outraged.

"Can I buy it for you?" Fuji asked.

"I thought you forgot your wallet."

"Did I say that?" Fuji smiled, " I seem to have forgotten, Momo, can I borrow 1000 yen?"

"What? Iie! I'm broke!"

"You do have 1000 yen on you don't you?" Fuji's eyes opened again.

"H-hai!" Momo got his wallet.

"I DON'T WANT IT!"

"But Echizen…"

"NO!"

"Echizen…" Fuji's eyes opened yet again.

"I hate you, Fuji-senpai."

"Saa, Echizen, ice cream."

* * *

Glossary:

Senpai: one's upperclassman

Daijoubu Ka: Are you alright?

Japanese superstitions, if you see a large number or crows or shoe laces break, someone close to you is experiencing bad luck

* * *

A/N

_Anti: well, finally, we're done_

_Ica: yeah…okay, right now we have like MAJOR homework, so if we don't update soon, you'll know why. Oh and I wanna see at least 10 reviews before posting next chapter…_

_Anti: ur sooo demanding. Don't listen to her._


	5. Mind Games

**Rated: K+**

**Summary**: **Echizen has stumbled upon some of his dad's perverted magazines and is now permanently scarred. He calls kids help phone for…help and in the process discovers a horrible truth. CRACK/yaoi…**

**Category: humour/ general**

**Characters: Echizen and Fuji (maybe yaoi, if you squint you might be able to see it…or maybe squint a lot…you know, to get the picture)**

**Kids Help Phone: (In Canada) 1-800-668-6868**

**Disclaimer: I do not own POT; Anti does, however, own Fuji (DIBS ON FUJI! . ) (jks jks, I don't want to get attacked by barbaric fangirls)**

"**characters conversations"**

_**(our random and totally pointless conversations)**_

_**Characters thinking to themselves**_

"_**Character flashback"**_

_**This will be the last one, so yeah, well feedback is welcome and…we'll be back!! Sooner or later.**_

* * *

"So what flavour do you young men want?" The ice cream man…er…woman actually beamed at the group of SUPER MUSCULAR/HAWT/KAWAII guys. (cuz you know, no one can resist them).

"Chocolate." Momo said.

"Caramel."

"Strawberry"

"Wasabi."

"EH?"

"Nande?"

"Wasabi ice cream." Fuji smiled as if ordering wasabi sushi was the most normal thing in the world.

"Wasabi…?" The ice cream woman looked taken aback.

"Yep, do you have it?"

"Er... no, but we do have the other _normal_ flavours"

"Well, then I'll take strawberry."

_Well, it should be safer now, maybe later on I can slip away. _Echizen thought as he ate the ice cream.

As everyone was happily chewing, licking or in Momo's case, wolfing down like 2 cones a minute, Fuji has somehow sneaked their favourite kouhai away and sadly, not one of them noticed. What wonderfully responsible senpai-tachi they are.

_**Meanwhile in Germany…again…**_

"I sense that Fuji is about to do something to my next pillar of support." Tezuka's buchou senses were tingling, and he indulged himself in another bottle of aspirin. _Something horrible is about to happen_.

_**Japan…with the Seigaku Regulars**_

"Hoi? Where did Ochibi and Fuji go?"

"They ran off!! They can't do that, they can't!"

"25 percent that they are getting more ice cream, 47 percent chance that they left us stranded, 73 percent that they are off doing something that they shouldn't be doing"

"Sugeee…Inui your data is amazing once again"

"Wait, Fuji and Echizen doing something they shouldn't be doing?!? We have to find them fast before its too late!! They're too young to be doing these types of things!"

"Nya, Oishi calm down. Ochibi is with Fuji. What could possibly happen?"

Ooooh dear. If only Kikumaru had known what Fuji could- _would_ do to Echizen…

**_With the "couple"_**

"Saa, Echizen, you don't look so happy."

"This is the way I always look." Came the detached reply.

"Demo, you look even sulkier than normal!"

"How can you tell?" Echizen asked.

"Because," Fuji got closer and tilted Echizen's chin up so he could look into his eyes. "I like watching you."

"EH?"

"But! That's not to say I stalk you, no, that would be disturbing." Fuji smiled and walked away. "So, Echizen, what do you think?"

"I think you're insane, Fuji-senpai."

"People have said that," He chuckled.

"It's the truth."

"But that's no way to talk to your senpai."

"Demo, you shouldn't take advantage of your kohai either, senpai."

"My, my, you do have a rather snarky mouth."

"Fuji-senpai, what are you trying to do?"

"I don't know, what do you want me to do, Echizen?"

"I want to go home."

"But Echizen, the fun's just started." _Damn it, he's being difficult._

"For you maybe, but I'm not having any fun at all."

"Now that's a problem," Fuji pinched both of Echizen's cheeks. "You don't hate me do you?"

"Mada mada dane."

"I almost thought you did." Fuji smiled his breathtaking smile.

"You must be lying, Fuji-senpai."

"And why do you say that?" Fuji was getting closer to his target.

"You know how I've always wanted to be with you."

"Really?" _Finally! _"And why is that, Echizen?"

_"What…are you staring at?" Fuji asked smiling one day, after practise, as he saw his kouhai looking at him._

_"I'm not staring." Echizen answered, partially embarrassed._

_"Oh really?" Fuji cocked his head to one side amused, and slipped on his uniform, he reached out and pinched Echizen's cheek playfully._

_"What are you trying to do, Fuji-senpai?" Echizen stepped back._

_"Nothing." Fuji smiled._

_"Mada mada dane."_

_**The Seigaku Regulars…**_

"Nya, Oishi what do you think happened to them?"

Sadly, Oishi was too busy being a mother hen and worrying about the two missing people to pay attention to whatever Kikumaru was saying.

"OISHI!! Are you even listening to what I'm saying?"

"80 percent that he's worrying over the disappearance of Fuji and Echizen, 2 percent that he's listening, and 18 percent he has passed out."

"…."

"OISHI!! DON'T DIE ON US NYAA!"

"Eiji, I'm not dead. I am just very shocked that two of our friends have gone missing. They could have been kidnapped! Lost in this VAST mall. Or worse. Dead."

"Nya, Oishi, I think that they just ran off."

"Hora, they're over there"

_**With the happy couple**_

"You're so strange, Fuji-senpai."

"Can't you call me Fujiko-chan?" Fuji teased, "Just once?"

"No!" Echizen turned scarlet.

"Then answer my question."

"What question?"

"Why do you want to be by my side, Echizen?"

"What are my choices?"

"That's for you to decide."

"Stop playing mind games."

"Am I?" Fuji's eyes opened.

"Yes, Fuji-senpai, can I go home now?"

"No."

"Nande?"

"Because I like you."

"EH?"

"Just kidding, you're so fun to tease!" Fuji pinched his cheeks, resuming his smiling state.

"Stop it!" Echizen slapped Fuji's hand away.

"Stop what?"

"Stop teasing."

"Then answer my question."

_Damn it, Fuji-senpai is good at mind games._

"WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT?"

"HOI?"

"85 percent chance that they like each other, 20 percent chance that they're just kidding and 90 percent chance that Fuji is making Echizen feel uncomfortable on purpose." Inui was scribbling away.

"But, but, but, OCHIBI!!!"

"OMMIGOD, this shouldn't be happening, they're both too young and, and, and they should focus more on their studies and tennis than this, this, this, relationship…and, and how shall I ever explain to Tezuka!!!" Oishi was panicking.

**_Meanwhile in Germany with le délègue_**

"Achoo!" _I must be coming down with a cold._ Tezuka's buchou senses were tingling. _I have a feeling my team needs me. Don't let your guard down, Echizen._ He knew that somewhere in Japan, Fuji was up to something, _hang in there team._

**_En Japon_**

Well, Tezuka's buchou senses were right, and how can you tell? With the shade of Echizen's face and the look of triumph on Fuji's face.

"I want to be by your side because…"

"Yes?"

"Because…I think you look nice?"

"How flattering." Fuji's eyes opened.

"Because I like you!" Echizen burst out.

"Oh my, the situation has become quite serious." Inui looked up from this notebook.

"Ya think?" Momo rolled his eyes.

"I didn't think Fuji was THIS good, nya…" Kikumaru sighed.

The attention turned to Oishi, who was twitching uncontrollably and suddenly, in a flash of courage that the team never thought Oishi could possess, Oishi jumped up and screamed at the new couple.

"DON'T DO THIS TO YOURSELVES, YOU MUST CONCENTRATE ON YOUR STUDIES AND TENNIS!! WHAT WOULD TEZUKA SAY?"

"Oh, hello, Oishi, how nice of you to drop by." Fuji's eyes were open.

"Eh! Oishi-senpai!" Echizen's face…well…turned redder…than it already was…redder because scarletter isn't a word…

"Nice going, Oishi, you blew our cover!" Momo said.

"Momochan-senpai!" Echizen looked like he was about to faint.

"Fujiko and Ochibi sitting in a tree…k-i-s-s-i-n-g…first comes love…" Kikumaru popped up pleasantly.

"Kikumaru-senpai!" Echizen's eyes widened like a couple of centimetres…if that was humanly possible…well it was big in the first place…but it got bigger…kinda…

"Ii data." Inui's glasses were flashing.

"Inui-senpai!" Echizen really fainted this time only to be caught by Fuji.

"Aw, Ryo-chan…" Fuji murmured.

"Fujiko-" Echizen caught himself and blushed wildly.

"Go on…what were you about to say?" Fuji smiled.

"Fuji and Ochibi sitting in a tree…"

"Fuji, be sensible!" Oishi was saying.

"Whatever do you mean?" Fuji asked smiling as Echizen got on his feet again.

"Come on," Momo interrupted, "I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry!" Kikumaru said.

"Let's go eat!!!' Momo said, dragging a hyperventilating Oishi along.

"But I'm not treating, NYA!" Kikumaru said following Momo

"I'm not treating either." Inui pushed up his glasses.

"Last one there is treating!" Momo declared.

"Hoi, that's not fair you have a head start!"

"You're the one that's always boasting about having the best reflexes!" Momo gave Echizen a you-owe-me look.

"Who's always boasting?" Kikumaru ran after Momo, followed by Inui and Oishi. leaving the two utterly confused couple alone to dwell in their thoughts.

"Saa, Echizen, what do you want to do now?"

"I don't know."

"Come on, you must have an idea?"

"Um…" _Damn it, he's teasing me again._

"You're a bright boy." Fuji insisted.

"Fuji-senpai."

"Stop calling me Fuji-senpai."

"Demo-"

"That's a direct order from your senpai."

"Fuji-kun?"

"Better, now what do you want to do?"

"I don't know."

"You like me don't you?"

"Um…" _What's he planning?_

"Echizen…?"

"H-hai, I like you Fuji-senpai."

"Fuji-kun" Fuji corrected, placing his hands on Echizen's shoulder.

"Fuji-kun…" He was stopped with Fuji stooping down and placing a tender kiss on his lips.

"Fuji-kun…"

"Yes, Echizen?"

Echizen thought back to Kids Help Phone and wondered if Fuji was keeping his job, he shuddered. "Nevermind."

* * *

Glossary

le délègue - the captain

En Japon – In Japan

Senpai-tachi – senpai in plural form

Fujiko-chan – affectionate name for Fuji

* * *

_A/N_

_Ica: WHY must you feel the need to put in French phrases? I swear, you're like OBSESSED with the French culture. Jeez. Don't confuse our readers. And don't confuse me!! But why would you like FRENCH of all things(I apologize if I am insulting any French people) I mean ur AZNNN. _

_Anti: im just practicing my French, I mean, come on, its Canada. _

_Ica: I thought that you had French last semester_

_Anti: well im gonna take French next year, so there, im just practicing so I dint forget_

_Ica: well so am i…aaaanyways. If ur still reading this, thanks for putting up with our idiotic conversation. _


End file.
